Not ready

The days are flying by. Winter came and went. Our big event at work was a success. My last day in the office is Friday. It is almost June.

For months Truman has been asking, "When will the baby be here?" And we have been responding, "Not for a long long time."

And suddenly I feel like I have very little time left. So many intentions left unfilled. So many plans that will have to wait. There is a little bit of panic. Not about labor and birth. Not about a new baby. But about my desire to hold on to this chapter - 34 years in and pregnant with my last child - for a little bit longer. I can't hold on to the days (and my pelvis doesn't want to) but I know in my heart this is a very very special and tender time. And I wish time would come to a stand still so I could memorize what this feels like.