Monday, August 6, 2012

The Best of the Blotter

I had this fantastic book idea - a compilation of the best articles from Bainbridge Island's police blotter. And after a little research (a five minute web search) I realized this would be the most boring book ever. Not a whole lot is happening around these parts. But occassionally there are ones that make me chuckle, here are a few:

9:56 a.m. A resident on Eagle Harbor Drive discovered his mailbox had been damaged over night. Someone covered the mailbox in tomato sauce. Nearby the box was a broken jar of tomato sauce. The resident told police that his mailbox was completely destroyed.

(Completely destroyed?)

12:03 p.m. A man reported that his car was damaged by an unknown person on Lynwood Center Road.

The word "meow" was scratched into the paint on the passenger door of the vehicle. The owner of the car told police that he housesat for his ex-girlfriend's family last year while they were still together. The family's six cats had escaped while he was watching the home and have not been seen since.
The man told police he gave the family money for the missing cats but they wanted more. He added that he has had problems with the family ever since. He had heard from his ex-girlfriend after he discovered his damaged door, and she told him that it was damaged by her new ex-boyfriend that she dated right after him.

The man requested that police do not contact his ex-girlfriend or her family but that he wanted to report the incident.

(Meow. hahahaha. How threatening.)

5:21 p.m. Police responded to a report of an ATV being driven on Hemlock Avenue. When they pulled over the ATV, the driver said that he didn't know it was illegal to ride an ATV on a public roadway. It was discovered that the driver had a suspended license as well as a warrant for a DUI. He was also under house arrest in Pierce County for being a habitual offender. Police arrested the man and made arrangements to transport him to Pierce County.

(Sweetie, why take the car when you can take the ATV?)

1 comment:

  1. These are PREEETTTY hilarious!!! I don't think you should give up your book idea...maybe there's a component you can add. Fictional backstories? Comments like the ones you wrote, but maybe four or five from a group of people? I think you could totally make something work!